Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Naivete Watch 

Gregg "Brother of Frank" Easterbrook is known for writing some whoppers, such as "WWII proved that democratic armed forces are better than totalitarian armed forces" (not a direct quote; don't feel like finding the link), "the Big Bang is suspect, and, oh, by the way, Steven Hawking sucks" and, of course, "Geostationary orbit equals the Earth's circumference." Today, however, he comes up with a new favorite of mine:
Last week the Institute of Medicine, the health-care research of the National Academy of Sciences, issued this report cautioning that herb-based nutritional and medicinal supplements are poorly regulated and may do more harm than good. Many readers of NFL.com, especially high-school kids and young men, may be tempted by the mystery compounds that promise phenomenal muscle growth, 30-second ripped abs and the like. Don't fall for it. Where are the most amazing physical specimens of the modern age found? In the National Football League, which elaborately tests for steroids and many other drugs, including many supplements. NFL players get their physiques the old-fashioned way. Those who get their physiques through chemical shortcuts may end up with long-term health consequences -- Major League Baseball better have a good health-insurance plan for retirees, because there are going to be some very sick former players. If you're gulping mystery supplements, you might as well go into the forest and gulp mushrooms, hoping you haven't grabbed the poisonous ones.
I think Mr. Easterbrook is ripe for a Claude Raines moment: "I'm shocked, just shocked to find out that some NFL players may take steroids."

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