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Friday, March 18, 2005

Remember the 11th Commandment: Thou Shalt Not Bump n' Grind 

Yesterday I mentioned how worthless it is for Congress to be regulating steroids because of some phony outrage about Major League Baseball. In that post I racked my brain for some area of public life that would be more stupid to regulate than steroids in baseball. I wasn't really happy with what I came up with, as the idea was to be clever and funny, and my post was neither.

But, then, as always, truth and reality come to the rescue when fiction and imagination fail. Perusing the Internets, I see and article entitled "Lawmaker Seeks to End Sexy Cheerleading." Holy shit.
AUSTIN, Texas -- The Friday night lights in Texas could soon be without bumpin' and grindin' cheerleaders. Legislation filed by Rep. Al Edwards would put an end to "sexually suggestive" performances at athletic events and other extracurricular competitions.

"It's just too sexually oriented, you know, the way they're shaking their behinds and going on, breaking it down," said Edwards, a 26-year veteran of the Texas House. "And then we say to them, 'don't get involved in sex unless it's marriage or love, it's dangerous out there' and yet the teachers and directors are helping them go through those kind of gyrations."

Under Edwards' bill, if a school district knowingly permits such a performance, funds from the state would be reduced in an amount to be determined by the education commissioner.

Edwards said he filed the bill as a result of several instances of seeing such ribald performances in his district
Clearly, we need to prevent youths in this great country from "breaking it down." Such behavior simply will not stand! Also, it should be noted that the editors of this article allowed the writer to use the words "bumpin'" and "grindin'".
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