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Monday, December 27, 2004

Family Values 

This New York Times article was linked to by Drudge - I won't bore you with many details. Basically, some neighbors are complaining about a Christmas display in Scottsdale, AZ that they say is too loud or too bright or something. The guy who runs the display - and his numerous supporters - see this as part of the attack on Christmas.
"I just love entertaining people," said Mr. Birkett, who predicted he would win his case but scurried about in a shirt with a prisonlike number, SC 12 25, and a message on the back: "Wanted for spreading Christmas cheer."

...

Mr. Birkett, who says he has spent $4,000 for a special fence to muffle the sound and has even offered to buy the Majercins' house for $225,000, says that he is acting out of devotion to Jesus and the spirit of Christmas and that his freedoms were also at stake.

"I believe there are lots of rights they are taking away," he said. "Like we're being asked not to say 'Merry Christmas.' They want you to say 'Happy holidays.' "
Of course, the "liberal" New York Times doesn't submit this comment to mockery it deserves - given that, you know, nobody is being denied the right to say "Merry Christmas."

But this is my favorite part of the article. How does this self-appointed defender of the Christmas tradition spend the holiday? Uh...
Among those shunning the uproar, Mr. Birkett acknowledged, is his wife, Sarah, a massage therapist, who left with their 15-month-old daughter, Avari Elizabeth, to spend Christmas with relatives in Wyoming. But he said she encouraged him "to fight for the freedom of the holidays.'"
Seems to me this man would rather be seen as a martyr for Christmas than actually, you know, spend the time with his daughter. (And I love how the reporter just trusts the guy to accurately quote his wife.) Seems to me this guy cares more about engaging in a divisive fight than spending time bringing his own family together. And this, it seems to me, is all you need to know about the "religious right."

What sort of piece of shit society do we live in when a national "liberal" paper writes a puff-piece on this loser?
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The Life Aquatic 

I saw it last night - I loved it. Sad, funny and exciting. I'm reading some of the reviews now and am surprised that so many people dislike it. I can see how it would turn a lot of people off - it's not accessible and at times is just weird. But I don't think it's weird for the sake of weirdness. Like Max Fischer in Rushmore, Steve Zissou has created a world for himself - a world that is only partially real. All of Wes Anderson's protagonists are living in a life they have created - in this case, it's represented visually by claymation fish. At least, I think that's the case.
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Saturday, December 25, 2004

Merry Christmas 

The secularists, and the Jews, and the gays, and all the godless, anal-sex loving heathens that control Hollywood have failed in their quest to destroy Christmas - for even here, at liberal Goldberg and Guthrie, we are wishing you a Merry Christmas, or Happy Holidays, or whatever greeting you prefer.

I got the Seinfeld DVD and the Ultimate Matrix collection - so I'm pretty stoked.

On another note, this is the first Christmas since I was born that my family hasn't spent together - my brother recently moved to New York and got a new job, so he has to work on the 24th and the 26th and wasn't able to make it back. It's sort of sad - not that sad, we were all together on Thanksgiving, but the house feels empty nevertheless. Let's remember all the families who have had an empty house for three years now - because a son or daughter or brother or sister is defending our country overseas. And of course there are families whose house will feel empty every Christmas - because someone volunteered to make the ultimate sacrifice for their country. Ignoring any thoughts on the war or the policies behind it, we should say a prayer (or do whatever it is that atheists do in situations like this) for these men and women.

Merry Christmas.
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Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Wacky Catchphrases 

Oh, those wacky witsters at Fox News. It seems that they've taken a break from covering the war on Christmas, and have decided to review this year's "Wacky Catchphrases." That's a quote from the headline - by the way - it's a "list of the wackiest catchphrases we found ourselves actually saying in '04".

The first of said "wacky catchphrases" is "You're fired." OK - this makes sense. Another one is "wardrobe malfunction" - OK, that's sort of funny.

But one "wacky catchphrase" is "flip-flopper." What the fuck? Here's what awesome writer Jennifer D'Angelo has to say:
He really, really didn’t want this nickname (and even tried to joke his way out of it during the debates), but thanks to Team Bush, John Kerry became inextricably associated with a plastic beach shoe. And his detractors had a lot of fun using the term over — and over — and over again.
First of all, this isn't a catchphrase - and I don't think it could be called wacky. Second, this term wasn't invented in 2004 - it's been used against every Democratic who's ran for President since 1992. Third, only a fucking moron would include this on a list of "wacky catchphrases we found ourselves saying in '04."

I'll note this last one without comment.
Last but not least … Deaniac: The unique term for a person — read: liberal, under 30 and politically active — who was excited by Howard Dean's campaign for the Democratic nomination. But Dean proved to be a bit of Deaniac himself in his infamous “I Have a Scream” speech, and now he may be going to New Hampshire ... and South Carolina ... and Oklahoma ... but only on vacation.
I hate the world.
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To the Hammock... 

It's been a long hard year, and Goldberg and I are ready for some time off. So, we'll be relaxing in California, and walking our beagle. The stress of posting on a blog a few times a week can be taxing, and we deserve both the rest and your pledges. We will back refreshed and energized, and ready to feign surprise every time the Republicans do something to indicate that they rely on anti-homosexual bigotry to turn out their base.

Until then...
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Martha Stewart 

I've never really cared about her either way - although I think it's bullshit that she actually got prison time for what she did. But, clearly, she did show a lack of respect for authority - and to an extent believed herself above the law, maybe.

But I have to say that I admire her for using this experience to remind her fans of how sad life is for so many who are incarcerated, and to encourage reform of our insane drug laws:
When one is incarcerated with 1,200 other inmates, it is hard to be selfish at Christmas -- hard to think of Christmases past and Christmases future -- that I know will be as they always were for me -- beautiful! So many of the women here in Alderson will never have the joy and wellbeing that you and I experience. Many of them have been here for years -- devoid of care, devoid of love, devoid of family.

I beseech you all to think about these women -- to encourage the American people to ask for reforms, both in sentencing guidelines, in length of incarceration for nonviolent first-time offenders, and for those involved in drug-taking. They would be much better served in a true rehabilitation center than in prison where there is no real help, no real programs to rehabilitate, no programs to educate, no way to be prepared for life "out there" where each person will ultimately find herself, many with no skills and no preparation for living.
I guess I just like the fact that there isn't any self-pity in her letter; rather, she's focusing on people who are true victims of prosecutorial excess. Good work, Martha.

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Happy Anniversary to Us 

It was one year ago today - on a particularly slow day at the office - that Goldberg and Guthrie was born. Here is our first (and still probably best) post:
The cover of Sean Hannity's new book seems to indicate that Sean Hannity will personally deliver us from the evil that is the Statue of Liberty.
Since that day we have expanded our base of readers to 10, and hope one day to approach the elusive "20" barrier. The blog has gone up fairly consistently, given that we are both doing deals or being big-time litigators. (Both of us have taken extended breaks at one time or another - I haven't posted in a few weeks, for example.) Still, we have succeeded in our goal of running a blog; and it's probably slightly more useful to the world than Goldberg and I just e-mailing back and forth all day.

Of course, in one way, this blog and all liberal blogs are utter failures, given that we have failed completely in turning back the tide of the conservative takeover of our country. But hopefully the blogs have started a movement that one day can match the Republican machine - the talk radio; Fox News; etc. Democrats and liberals need to understand exactly how it is that the Republicans are able to speak to their base; and we have to learn how to do it effectively and, more important, honorably and truthfully. Our job is harder. They can simply make up whatever facts they want to rile up the conservative base. Country full of Christmas decorations? Christmas trees everywhere you look? Everyone gets a day and probably two off for Christmas? Country 95% Christian and Christians control government? Doesn't matter - Christmas is under attack by secular liberals, Jews, gays and atheists.

You can't build a machine that can spread that kind of a lie overnight; and it's going to be even harder to build a machine that can spread complex truths - like the idea that social security isn't failing and that privatized won't help it. Hopefully, the liberal blogosphere is starting to do that. And, hopefully Goldberg and Guthrie has played a role - however minusucuely small - in the effort.
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Monday, December 06, 2004

Long Time 

A few thoughts:

(1) How about those Bengals?

(2) When experiencing the requisite anger over these awful abstinence-only programs, try to remember under whose Presidency the federal government started funding them. Hint: it's safe to say he didn't follow the precepts of these programs in his personal life. I guess that's how Democrats are supposed to appeal to the heartland, by lying to kids about condoms.

(3) I haven't been posting lately, in part because I've been sort of getting into it in the comments on this pro-life blog. See these two threads, and click on the comments. Some of them don't make all that much sense; it's difficult to argue. And if you go there please be civil if you post any comments.

(4) Back to the Bengals... they really looked good on Sunday - although I suspect that next week, when they have to play at New England, we Bengals fans will be quoting Mace Windu (as played by Samuel Jackson) in Star Wars: Episode II: Attack of the Clones. "This party's over."
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