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Sunday, February 13, 2005

LA 

I will almost certainly be going to LA for most of this week to work on a document production. Therefore, posting will be light to non-existent from me.

I suggest you pick up the shattered pieces of your life and move on.
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Absurd Black History Month Reference Alert 

RCN is running a commercial for their On Demand movies. (RCN, by the way, is the worst company in this history of mankind - and I include companies that profit from third world sweat shops.) I cannot transcribe it as (thanks to RCN, as a matter of fact) I do not have Tivo.

The commercial went something like this: "In honor of black history month... we bring you two black superstars.... Denzel Washington in The Manchurian Candidate and Halle Berry in Catwoman."

So, in a stirring tribute to the history of African Americans RCN is... showing two movies they would have shown this month anyway.

This is neither as absurd nor as funny as Goldberg's absurd reference to September 11th below, which I highly recommend to those fans of G&G who usually only read my posts.

UPDATE:

Darn. Jonah Goldberg made almost the same observation here today - with the good line that this is like celebrating Jewish history by showing Cadyshack II because Jackie Mason is in it. Great minds... oh no.
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Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind 

I saw it last night, and after a morning of reflection, I have to say that this is the best movie I've seen in a long time. It's been so long since I've seen a really great movie for the first time that I was under the impression The Aviator and The Life Aquatic could be categorized as "great". I forgot what it's like to encounter a great movie for the first time - it's all I can think about today.

I love this movie. In a week where we learned that the Ohio legislature is literally attempting to destroy higher education there; in a world where people to continue to kill and starve each other to death - occasionally great art makes a person realize that people are capable of creating things that are beautiful, things that make our miserable, godless existence in this universe worthwhile.

(That's "junior in college, pseudo-intellectual, theatre major Guthrie" talking. Recently, a friend told me how much better I am now than I was then - mostly because I am less arrogant. Sometimes, I think I was a better person then.)
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Monday, February 07, 2005

Total, Complete and Utter Hypocrisy (I would stop reading this blog if I were you) 

I suspected my views on Corey Dillon had changed, and I was right. I did a search on a Bengals forum I occasionally post at, and found this post. Good God I suck.

Bengal fan JoePong wrote:
Is Corey Dillon banging your wives or something? That's the only way I can explain your irrational hatred.

But I guess it's nothing new. People wanted to run TJ out of town too because he was hurt all year. The venom directed at that guy simply because he happend to tear his hamstring is just unbelievable.

Typical.
Then I, the author of all these recent Dillon posts on this blog, wrote (under the user name of top6):
JP, I tend to agree with this last statement. Why people suddenly hate the player who was the only good thing on our team for half a decade, I'll never understand.
WHAT THE SHIT? And this was after much of the behavior I mentioned earlier (although I'm not sure he had yet called Anderson a "bum"). What is my problem?

One thing - being a Bengals fan makes you insane. None of my thoughts relating to the Bengals are rational, with the exception of: "Mike Brown step down." Also: "I hate Joe Montana" and "Sam Wyche was an offensive genius." Oh, and one more: "You don't live in Cleveland."

(And note, if you follow the link, that I don't frequently post on sports message boards - I only have 17 posts in more than a year. So I'm certainly NOT a loser... oh God I hate myself, I hate myself.)
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Super Bowl Thoughts 

(1) Worst Sports Argument Ever?

Last night, after the f-faced led Partriots won their third Super Bowl, Sean Salisbury and Michael Irvin engaged in a debate over whether these Patriots or the Cowboys of the '90s were better. For some reason, both men seemed to agree that the key stat in settling this argument was average margin of victory in the Super Bowl. The Patriots' was something like 3; the Cowboys' was something like 14.

Irvin argued, sensibly if you ignore the fact that this stat has very little to do with which team was better, that this indicated the Cowboys were superior. Salisbury argued that this indicated the Patriots were better - because, unlike the Cowboys, the Patriots proved they could win close Super Bowls.

Score one for Michael Irvin.

(2) What the Fuck?

I only had a mild interest in this Super Bowl - I would have liked it if the Eagles won, although the idea of making horrible Eagles fans happy was distasteful. Yet even I was going crazy when the Eagles took their sweet time on that second-to-last drive. It simply defied all logic and common sense. AND WHY DID HE THROW THAT PASS ON SECOND DOWN ON THE LAST DRIVE? (A pass that gained half a yard when they needed 60 and took half of the time off the clock.) Why did they throw to the middle of the field at all? In sum, what the fuck? If I was an Eagles fan I may have forsworn football at that point.

(3) McNabb

He was just way too happy in the post-game interview I saw. He seemed thrilled that the Eagles had just made a game out of it - even though, in his eyes, nobody had given them a chance. I mean, they weren't that big of underdogs - it wasn't exactly the Jets facing the Colts that one year. He just seemed a little too happy just to be in the game - a direct contrast to the winning team. Coupled with the infuriating last two drives, I can't say I was very impressed with Mr. McNabb's performance.

(4) Dillon

See my thought below, in the comments to the "Great" post. Also, just for the record, they always talk about Dillon's "flipping Burgers" comment. I didn't appreciate that, but it was in the context of a contract negotiation which can obviously get contentious - especially with Mike "About 10 Times More of a Fuck Face and Piece of Shit Than Corey Dillon Will Ever Be" Brown. For some reason, because it would not fit in with the new "Dillon is a wonderful, godly man" script, they never talk about his behavior at the end of last year and during the offseason. Dillon wanted to get traded, so he decided to go on The Best Damn Sports Show Period and call Willie Anderson a bum. Most people probably don't know who Anderson is - but he's a pro-bowl tackle, he's played on the Bengals for 13 years and he blocked for Dillon when he set the all-time and rookie single game rushing records. Also, he's generally lauded for his impeccable character and leadership on and off the field. So, in order to get traded, Dillon decided to call him a bum. Class.

Also, the Dillon-script during the week was that Dillon was only a malcontent because he was tired of losing. What this fails to explain is why Dillon "suffered" through years of Bengals losses before he demanded to be traded. He only wanted to leave after Rudi Johnson started competing for his starting spot. He didn't give a shit about winning - he only cares about putting himself in the best light possible. Well, he's succeeded, and he has a ring, so I guess he gets the last laugh. Good work, Dillon and Patriots.
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Friday, February 04, 2005

Great 

While I'm actually not entirely unsympathetic to his comments, I think in general it would be better for our standing among Muslims if our military's leaders didn't come out and say that it was "fun" to shoot them.
Lt. Gen. James Mattis, who commanded Marine expeditions in Afghanistan and Iraq, made the comments Tuesday during a panel discussion in San Diego, California.

"Actually it's quite fun to fight them, you know. It's a hell of a hoot," Mattis said, prompting laughter from some military members in the audience. "It's fun to shoot some people. I'll be right up there with you. I like brawling.

"You go into Afghanistan, you got guys who slap women around for five years because they didn't wear a veil," Mattis said. "You know, guys like that ain't got no manhood left anyway. So it's a hell of a lot of fun to shoot them."
Thanks to reader MS, also known as Guthrie's mom.
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Thursday, February 03, 2005

Shake 'N Blake 

Jeff Blake made a pretty cool comment to some Cincinnati reporters:
Asked if he can play until 40, Blake flexed his bicep.

“My arm,” he said, “is still bigger than your legs.”
God bless one Jeff Blake.

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Corner Endorses Maiming 

Here's a comment on The Corner by John Hood:
TOUGH TALK FROM THE BAY AREA:
I must say, I do feel a lot safer with Nancy Pelosi on the case. She'll get our armed forces what they need to capture, maim, or kill the enemies of America. Totally believable.
Can someone please tell me one period during American history where it became necessary to "maim" our enemies, and when it became synonymous with the stereotype of weak, cowardly liberalism to say that perhaps our enemies should not be maimed after all.
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Democratic Response Comment 

I generally have liked Harry Reid so far, but maybe he should stop speaking in public. When a Democrat makes me agree with Jonah Goldberg, I don't appreciate it. Goldberg:
The moment Harry Reid said we need a "Marshall plan for America" last night I found it almost impossible to focus on what he was saying afterwards. It's an ancient cliché which reveals so much about the neo-nativism of the Democratic party than almost anything else. The notion that a "Marshall plan" would work in the most prosperous nation in the world where Americans are not, in fact, digging out from rubble and looking to rebuild their societies is too dumb to pick apart at length.
I have to say, outside of the neo-nativism comment (which I don't understand), I agree completely. Saying that we need a program similar to the program that saved post-World War II Europe simply makes no sense. Yet, given how stupid the American public has proved itself over the last few elections and seasons of Yes, Dear, it wouldn't surprise me if this polled well.

(Note the second reference to Yes, Dear in a week - I just watched this show once or twice over the last few months and was stunned by how terrible it is. I think it's going to be my new standard for how stupid people can be.)
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Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Gayness? Count Derb Out 

In The Corner's continual quest to ruin movies you may otherwise have liked, a discussion about Miller's Crossing has begun.

It appears John Derbyshire - AKA "The Derb" - has never seen nor heard of it. In the midst of some discussion and attempts to convince the Derb to see it, John Podhoretz writes:
I once horrified Jonah by saying that the secret to understanding Miller's Crossing is that Gabriel Byrne's character is gay and he's in love with Albert Finney -- but that's only because I AM RIGHT!!!!!
To which the Derb responds:
John P.: Now I don't want to watch it.
That's it - no context, not another punchline, not a LOL. Apparently, the mere flippant suggestion that a character in a movie may be gay is enough to cause one conservative pundit to avoid seeing it.

One question, however. If subtext and clues lead one to the obvious conclusion that a character is gay, won't this mean that John Derbyshire will have to stop reading articles about John Derbyshire?
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Awesome! (Plus, Welcome Hide and Seek Spoiler Seekers!) 

If you Google "Laura Bush chainsmoker", we are the sixth web site that comes up!

We also seem to be getting hits from people looking for spoilers to Hide and Seek; even though I did do a brief post on this a few days ago, I'm really not sure why this is happening. Just so you know, I've never seen the movie, but if it turns out that any of the main characters are dead, that sucks. And go to this site whenever you want to know the ending to a movie.

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Corey Dillon: Son of God? 

Corey Dillon continues his quest to alienate every person in Cincinnati in this article. It's difficult to follow Dillon's train of thought here, but his last quote is awesome.
Dillon said he put Cincinnati behind him after the Patriots and Bengals played Dec. 12. He's not looking back and is at peace, even when pressed on whether his negative reputation was unfair.

"People are going to view me how they want to, and the way I look at it, people didn't think Jesus was Jesus. So who am I?"
God Dillon's awesome.
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